So I Finally Filled Out The About Me Page

It only took 10 months… I guess it was time!

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I am not a big fan of talking about myself. I would rather sit through a four hour lecture on the “Molecular Composition of Saliva,” then talk about myself. I was told that these About Me sections are pretty important so I suppose I should say a few things.

I have this incredible ability to balance superb professionalism with a touch of Gordon Ramsey’s Pirate Potty Mouth. LOLOLOL. Who am I kidding? I have the mouth of a drunken sailor. But I know how to hide that part of me when I am in a room full of “highly respected individuals.” Whatever that means.

I can be extremely impatient, and tardiness irks me more than an 80 year-old lottery winner with an oxygen tank. You better believe I can multi-task like a Motherfucker. I am a really great listener, I love to dream, and I feel like I see things in this world much differently than a lot of people. What can I say? I’m just different.

A few other random bits of crazy about me:

  • I very randomly and frequently burst out in song.
  • I would rather eat chocolate and ice cream then worry about a thigh gap.
  • I used to get nervous when someone would point to “Quinoa” on a package and ask how its pronounced. So I googled it and learned and felt so superior to all those non-quinoa experts. Then I realized I still can’t say Worcestershire so I should just shut up and sit back down.
  • Jack Daniels has saved my life on multiple occasions. He also made me miss Ray Lewis’s last game at M&T Bank Stadium. But we are still BFFL.
  • I’m a Leo.
  • I was raised by a Preachers daughter and a Mobster. Crazy, right?! My dad still denies my ludicrous assumption and claims I have a wild imagination. But I know…
  • Writing makes me happy and I do it for me. But if there are people who enjoy any of my writing, I am overjoyed at the fact that they took the time out to read it.

If you are still reading this, you deserve a major Kudos. I promise to keep things weird. Because nobody likes normal (okay, I may be slightly sane every once in a while).

Seriously though, thanks for reading!

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