The big 3-0 is fast approaching and it is safe to say that I am having all kinds of feelings. Enough to fill an entire blog post at another time. But the one thing that is utterly undeniable is that I have to make better food choices if I want to stay away from wearing a mumu every day for the rest of my life. I can no longer eat a Snickers Ice Cream Bar and just write it off as a semi-healthy snack since it has nuts in it. Nope… I shave off at least 3 months of my life-span each time I devour a piece of chocolate cake and gain three pounds in return. It is time to grow up. Blah.
For most of my early twenties, I tried every kind of diet pill you have heard of and the ones you haven’t; the kind that require an ID at the pharmacy because kids like to turn everything into Meth nowadays.
I tried the Slim Fast Fad and the Atkins Fad. I even tried the McDonald’s Fad… Yeah, that was a thing. You haven’t heard of it? Taco Bell had one too… But I only participated in that one after a night of binge drinking. The next day I would be completely cleaned out. It works!
Alas, all of those things never really did what needed to be done. You come to a bone-crushing realization in your late twenties that you actually have to eat healthy and get your ass moving if you want to live to see your grandkids graduate from high school. So I started doing better. And I can say that I have had great success with eating green and lifting actual weights instead of lifting an entire pizza pie to my face. Problem is, I would go strong for several months only to fall back into my old ways. It’s a vicious cycle.
The little voice inside my head started screaming at me the other day, “Rebecca, you are getting old. You have mere months left in your twenties. Your life is slowly fading away, but your waistline isn’t. Put down the Cheeseburger and pick up a piece of Kale!! That squishiness is here to stay unless you get up and play!”
Damn you voice of reason!!
So here I am. Just a girl and her bag of M&M’s looking for a better alternative. And I found it!!!! Here in DC, we have this place called The Protein Bar. They have the healthiest menu I have ever seen and their food is actually really good. Like damn delicious. And it is filling so I don’t feel like hiding under my desk with a bag of chips and hour after eating there. One issue: They are expensive like woah…
The Avo-Matcha Smoothie. It is so amazingly delicious. It is this smooth and creamy concoction of Avocados and Matcha Green Tea with almond milk and agave nectar. It has organic whey vanilla protein which helps keep me full and feeling fabulous. And it costs $7.98 for one 16 ounce portion.
I bought this 3 times last week and I had this constant battle of emotions each time. They ranged between shock and awe, to anger and sadness. Why did something so delicious have to be so expensive?!
I realize buying one of these a day is obnoxious. So I decided I would buy all of the same ingredients myself and start making it at home. So I went to Protein and asked for the exact brand of each ingredient they use for this heavenly beverage and then I went online and researched the prices.
I had to sell one of my kidneys to buy all of the ingredients but I figure drinking this once a day will help balance out the effects of that loss.
- Pure Matcha $25.00
- Orgain Organic Protein Powder (Vanilla) $27.00
- Raw Organic Agave Honey $8.00
- Almond Milk $4.00
- Avocado (Doesn’t really matter. It’s cheaper than all the other shit)
That is just one healthy meal/snack. In order to keep this healthy movement going, I am going to need to munch on a plain lettuce head since that is all I can afford after all that. #BrokeBetty
Fingers crossed peeps. If you see me with anything that remotely resembles a candy bar, please shout out the word THIRTY!!!! to remind me that I no longer have a metabolism.