I am not a big fan of talking about myself. I would rather sit through a four hour lecture on the “Molecular Composition of Saliva,” then talk about myself. I was told that these About sections are pretty important so I suppose I should say a few things.
I live in a house with my husband and my precious little boy, Panda (No, I didn’t name my kid Panda. He is a Jack Russell/Chihuahua Mix people). Panda is seriously my world. I love my husband (dearly), but even he will tell you that Panda is the first one I greet when I come home.
I have this incredible ability to balance superb professionalism with a touch of Gordon Ramsey’s Pirate Potty Mouth. LOLOLOL. Who am I kidding? I have the mouth of a drunken sailor. But I know how to hide that part of me when I am in a room full of “highly respected individuals.” Whatever that means.
I used to think I was strictly a Type A personality. I am happy to say that I think I am a mix between Type A and Type B. I feel as though this needs an explanation. I love writing; I have been writing for years. Growing up I would keep journals that were always a mix between the random diary entry, original poetry, and short stories. Other times I would just sit outside with paper and pen and write down how everything around me made me feel (a lot of self-reflection between the outer/inner world. Definitely more of a Type B Trait). But I was always so critical of my writing. So critical, in fact, that I would re-write a diary entry four times changing certain words or adding sentences to make it more “uniform” and “organized.” If a certain entry or poem didn’t meet my standards of perfection, I would simply tear it out and throw it away (This is where the Type A comes in). What 11 year-old does that?! ME.
So yeah, I hate not being in control of absolutely everything, I can be extremely impatient, and tardiness irks me more than an 80 year-old lottery winner with an oxygen tank. You better believe I can multi-task like a Motherfucker. But I am also a really great listener, I love to dream, and I feel like I see things in this world much differently than a lot of people. What can I say? I’m just different.
A few other random bits of awesome about me:
- I very randomly and frequently burst out in song.
- I would rather eat chocolate and ice cream then worry about a thigh gap.
- I like to think of myself as pretty intelligent. And then I have to sing the ABC’s out loud to remind me of which letter comes next.
- The saying, “I drink coffee for your protection,” was written for me. And if you try to hand me anything decaf, I promise they won’t find your body.
- I used to get nervous when someone would point to “Quinoa” on a package and ask how its pronounced. So I googled it and learned and felt so superior to all those non-quinoa experts. Then I realized I still can’t say Worcestershire so I should just shut up and sit back down.
- I don’t pretend to be someone I am not… But if you choose to see me as the ever beautiful Malin Akerman, with Emily Blunt’s sexy accent, I won’t argue.
- Jack Daniels has saved my life on multiple occasions. He also made me miss Ray Lewis’s last game at M&T Bank Stadium. But we are still BFFL.
- I’m a Leo. So that’s all I am going to say about that.
- I was raised by a Preachers daughter and a Mobster. Crazy, right?! My dad still denies my ludicrous assumption and claims I have a wild imagination. But I know…
- Writing makes me happy and I do it for me. But if there are people who enjoy any of my writing, I am overjoyed at the fact that they took the time out to read it.
I feel like if I keep going, I will wear out my welcome. So that’s that. If you are still reading this, you deserve a major Kudos. I promise to keep things weird. Because nobody likes normal (okay, I may be slightly sane every once in a while).
Seriously though, thanks for reading!